Although arguably not the most commercially viable of Smiffy's tracks, Self Portrait is a signature song for the album in its own right. It is a powerful and personal depiction, both in its words and its music, of the struggles which can accompany the journey from youth to manhood. It features elegant and meloncholy piano with an orchestral build up throughout. The battle drums complement the energetic flow of lyrics which come gushing like burst riverbanks in a rain-storm.
lyrics
VERSE 1:
From the womb into the world oxygen, the clock kicks in
Spring to life and the plot begins
Crawl, walk, run and don’t look back
Until you reach manhood and your good in your own tracks
Amidst a bitten generation of Britain
I’m only one of millions of kittens that came up but didn’t
And now I’m a grown lad, it sad, been running for so long
Clueless as to where I truly belong
Shhh if your listening you can hear the same clock keep ticking
But time loses its value when you’re drifting
The days repeat, I live asleep
One after the other I knock the drinks back to keep me from searching deep
Afraid of that which I’ll reap
I shy from my reflections as I pass by the puddles in the high street
I’ve come of age but the mirror image doesn’t change
I see the same lost boy frozen in the frame
CHORUS:
For years I’ve been looking into mirrors
Facing my demons, fighting my fears and wiping my tears
Searching deep beneath the surface for the person inside
Only the closer I look, makes it harder to find
Because for years I’ve been looking into mirrors
Facing my demons, fighting my fears and wiping my tears
Captured in a world of madness where most seek wealth
Just a lost man looking for himself
VERSE 2:
Mirror mirror show me the truth, I return to my youth
In search of what made me the man I am, to dig up my roots
All the by-gone roads influence the path I chose
Because my past still flows
Clean through me, the recipe from which I was made
Thus grew the two-headed beast, to who I’m a slave
One man with many sides that divide this mind
And I’m tired of all the Jackyl and Hyde
The bad dreams, the flash backs, I’ve taken heed
To the animal I’ve been and all the blood I’ve seen
And now the scars I carry as a reminder
That big boys games come at cost and everybody takes a loss young minor
And who knows it might take a life age of Mondays
But life’s gonna level with us one day
So go on and pray God’s heavenly sheep
But it takes Jameson’s neat to put my demons to sleep
CHORUS:
For years I’ve been looking into mirrors
Facing my demons, fighting my fears and wiping my tears
Searching deep beneath the surface for the person inside
Only the closer I look, makes it harder to find
Because for years I’ve been looking into mirrors
Facing my demons, fighting my fears and wiping my tears
Captured in a world of madness where most seek wealth
Just a lost man looking for himself
VERSE 3:
From the world into the grave how did you live?
How did you die? What were your last words? What were your first?
I’ve been a stranger to myself too long, and so I take
To the canvas with my brush and begin upon this portrait
Boxed between these four walls
I paint my journey through life’s halls and release for all
To relate, appreciate to debate, to hate
To find uniqueness or weakness in comparison with art to date
Just give me ‘til I’m twenty-eight
I’ve been nobody’s saint but all I have is to create
Cause one life to live with no religion is a short life
I swear by my sight not to waste one more night
Steps are for tracing, dreams are for chasing
I’m just try’na find my place on this planet and I’m coming guns blazing
Living for a legacy to leave
Before this old clock stops ticking and the mirror decides to freeze
CHORUS:
For years I’ve been looking into mirrors
Facing my demons, fighting my fears and wiping my tears
Searching deep beneath the surface for the person inside
Only the closer I look, makes it harder to find
Because for years I’ve been looking into mirrors
Facing my demons, fighting my fears and wiping my tears
Captured in a world of madness where most seek wealth
Just a lost man looking for himself...
credits
from Self Portrait,
released August 23, 2012
Music and Lyrics by Smiffy
Rapper/Songwriter of an eclectic, organic style of urban music. Drawing influence from some of history's musical greats,
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